The “think positive” leader tends to listen to his subordinate’s premonitions only during the postmortems.
The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely proportional to the subject’s true value.
The average man’s judgement is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
The best [...]
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.
Always hire a rich attorney.
Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn’t work out.
Always listen to experts. They’ll tell what can’t be done and why. [...]
Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.
Brooke’s Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Calkin’s Law of Menu [...]
The first time is for love, the next time is $200.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
The hardness of the butter is in inverse proportion [...]
Any change looks terrible at first.
Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm.
Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any good strategy will seem ridiculous by the time it is implemented. - Dogbert, in Scott Adams’ “Build a Better Life by [...]
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.
A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
A bird in the bush usually has a friend [...]
I knocked several times, but you weren’t in. - Opportunity
I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.
I think we should really add to the confusion… Let’s call in (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial…)
I think…therefore I am confused.
I will get it done when I [...]
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Indifference is the only sure defense.
Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
Information’s pretty thin stuff, unless mixed with experience.
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
Inside every small problem is a larger problem struggling to get out.
Instead [...]
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.
All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney
All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won’t.
All rights left. [...]
If you cannot fix it, feature it.
If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!
If you cannot measure output, then you measure input.
If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
If you did what you always did, you’ll [...]
