Steven Wright 10

So I figured I’d leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn’t into meditating and she wasn’t really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration [...]

Business one-liners 35

The “think positive” leader tends to listen to his subordinate’s premonitions only during the postmortems.
The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely proportional to the subject’s true value.
The average man’s judgement is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
The best [...]

Business one-liners 61

I knocked several times, but you weren’t in. - Opportunity
I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.
I think we should really add to the confusion… Let’s call in (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial…)
I think…therefore I am confused.
I will get it done when I [...]

Business one-liners 08

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.
All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney
All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won’t.
All rights left. [...]