If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted. We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
I wish [...]
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, I hope they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
I’d rather be rich than [...]
I’m in Champaign, I listen to the great music on Rock 107, and when out of town … they mail it to me.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”
“I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils”
I want to start a car repair shop. I have [...]
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!
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